It's Teamwork
by greengirl82
Summary: A series of oneshots with the team... and mentions of H/P of course. Five-shot.
1. The Great Job Swap

**It's Team Work**

Disclaimer: So you know that CBS owns Criminal Minds, not me. Nope, never me...

Summary: Each team member thinks the other has it easier in their position, so when the team is left on stand by, they switch jobs. Except for Reid, Morgan and Garcia who are sitting back enjoying the show...

A/N: This originally was a separate oneshot but I decided to incorporate it into this series, which takes place before JJ's an agent.

Thanks for reading, don't forget to leave a review.

* * *

"When people go to work, they shouldn't have to leave their hearts at home." Betty Bender

* * *

Emily sighed as she looked down into the bullpen and groaned at the sight of JJ, Reid, Morgan and Garcia sitting down going over case files while she was up in Hotch's... her office going over team reports correcting mistakes like a fifth grade teacher.

A knock on the door pulled Emily from her task as temporary team leader, "Come in."

_'Wow, so that's how Hotch does it everyday?'_ Emily though to herself _'God how does he not get bored day in, day out?'_

Emily was surprised to see JJ walk in armed with case files and a weary expression on her face.

"Here are my finished case files, Emily" JJ said placing the files on the edge of the desk and sitting in the visitor seat "How the hell do you do this everyday? I'm tired and I'm not even through half the cases yet."

Emily chuckled lightly as she smirked through her tension headache, "Those files? Those are the smallest piles that I've ever had in my entire time at the Bureau. It's just getting use to a new position that makes it feel harder."

JJ groaned as she rubbed her hand over her temples and looked at Emily, "You're joking right? Right?"

Emily shook her head, "Nope. You know I had the same feeling as you did, when I stepped into Hotch's role as Unit Chief. But his job isn't just leading the team or paper work. He has back to back meetings with other Unit Chiefs and Strauss."

JJ rubbed her sore wrist and said, "Thank God we're on stand by, so you wouldn't have to do all this out in the field."

"I am so tired," Emily said running her hands through her hair, "And I've got to sign off on these case files, then pass them along to Strauss before our meeting."

JJ shuddered and said, "Well I'll get back to work so that way you can hurry through the crap with Strauss."

Emily nodded and picked up JJ's files to sign off on, watching the temporary field agent head back into the bullpen.

Another knock caused Emily to internally groan as she said, "Come in."

Emily saw Dave walk in with some files, "I found a case for us to go over to pass to the B team."

"All right" Emily said "Write up the necessary paperwork for the teams files and have it ready to prepare in ten minutes."

"Ten?" Dave complained "I'm old give me at least fifteen."

Emily sighed as she watched Dave give her a pleading look and nodded "Hurry it up, it's not like you have to write it by hand. There is this thing called a computer and it allows you to print out more than one copy."

Dave glared and muttered walking out the door, "I get stuck as the media liaison? This sucks."

"You want this job?" Emily challenged with a smirk "Because this is no walk in the park."

Dave slammed the door and Emily signed off on the case files leaving it in the outbox as she gathered herself to head for the conference room.

Walking out of the office, Emily looked down at her agents and missed her old desk which Garcia took to redecorating with troll dolls and sparkly glitter.

"Guys" Emily said getting the mismatched group to look at her, "Conference room in fifteen."

The team watched as their new temporary leader wandered down the catwalk and headed off to the new technical analysts office.

Knocking on the door, Emily smirked when she heard a frustrated voice say, "Come in."

Emily smirked when she saw Hotch glare at the computer screen before swiveling around in the computer chair to look at her.

"Yes, ma'am?" Hotch said drolly earning an eyebrow raise from Emily.

"Want to watch it on the ma'am-ing?" Emily told Hotch "It's Emily or Prentiss, not ma'am."

"Sorry" Hotch said "But I hate being the technical analyst."

Emily looked at him, "Well you're job was no picnic, but other then the severe case of carpal tunnel syndrome and boredom I'm surviving."

"So what brings you down here?" Hotch asked trying to retrieve file needed for the B Team.

"Conference room" Emily said "Dave picked a file for us to profile and pass off to the B team. What are you doing?"

Hotch sighed as he clicked on the mouse pad "Trying to retrieve the file for the B team. I hate this job. I don't know how Garcia can stay so happy and perky all the time. This makes me want to quit."

Emily sighed as she helped click on the correct file, "There you go."

He looked over at Emily in surprise "How'd you do that?"

"Well when Garcia was teaching you the ins and outs of her job, just like you we all did for each other, I asked her for a few tips in case any of us got stuck" she told him, "By the way you're job, as cool as it is to be the boss, it's kind of boringly depressing. I mean I understand what you do, but man sitting in that office makes me wish I had a tv in there or something..."

Hotch laughed "I guess we all take for granted the others jobs. Guess that's why I wasn't chosen to be the field agent because I already was one."

"And I get that we all find it easier to be in our own little world with our own jobs, but man I really want my job back, and I know that JJ and Dave do too. Dave hates picking out the case files." Emily told Hotch.

"I want mine back to, but we'll have to do it the right way without seeming weak." Hotch told her.

The two headed up to the conference room to see the clearly annoyed JJ glare at Dave.

"I want this thing over, and my job back." JJ told Hotch and Emily "Because he is putting a bad name on media liaisons."

"What?" Emily asked "What did you do?"

"He hit on one of the reporters that he was giving the profile to." JJ told him.

"Dave!" Emily said shocked "How could you?"

Dave shrugged, "Really? You're surprised?"

Hotch shook his head, "Ok that's it. Today is the last day. Forget the two week switch, at the end of the day, everyone goes back to their own desks, offices wherever and gets their own title back. Got it?"

"Pay up" Garcia told the Morgan and Reid, "Told you they wouldn't last two weeks."

Morgan grumbled and said, "Lame. I thought they could take it."

Reid reluctantly handed over his money as he watched the team switch back from their new roles into their relaxed positions of their own roles.

"Ok." Emily said watching Dave pass around the file "Present the case."

Dave gave Emily a look, while JJ snickered at Dave's less then pleased look at presenting a case to review.

JJ turned her attention to the case in front of her, trying to think like a profiler as she read the file, looking over at her temporary team leader, she wondered how Emily manage to compartmentalize all the horror they see.

Garcia watched Hotch type slowly on the computer looking up the information needed and wanted to scream at his treatment of the precious computer.

_'Thank God this is almost over'_ Emily thought as she sat up straight _'How the hell does Hotch manage to do this everyday?'_

* * *

"The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one." Oscar Wilde

* * *

**Until Next Time... **

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	2. Supervisory Special Agent Janitor

**It's Teamwork**

Disclaimer: I'll admit CBS owns Criminal Minds, if they'd admit that the last two seasons were just awful.

Summary: The janitors of the BAU are on strike because of Strauss, so the BAU has to take over cleaning if they don't want to stay in a dirty building. But who's bright idea was it to agree to this?

A/N: Yep, another series of oneshots posted as an unrelated fic. This time it's all about the team.

Thanks for reading, don't forget to leave a review.

* * *

Heloise Cruse said, "I think housework is the reason most women go to the office."

* * *

"Ugh" Emily said, wrinkling her nose "This place is disgusting."

Emily, JJ and Reid looked around the dirty bullpen at the BAU, each disgusted by the sight they saw before them.

"Why the hell hasn't the janitors cleaned the BAU?" JJ asked.

"Seems Strauss and the janitorial staff got into a tete a tete and they're all on strike." Dave said coming up from behind them to see the mess that is the bullpen.

"Well, than who the hell is going to clean up this place?" Emily asked "We can't work in a pig pen."

JJ's cell phone rang and she turned away from the other two to answered it.

"Yes ma'am, I understand but we..." JJ started "But ma'am we're not... I understand. Thank you."

"What was that about?" Reid asked trying not to focus on the over heaped trash can.

"Strauss said that we have to handle the cleaning for today and not worry since we have no active cases." JJ said.

"What?" Emily and Reid asked in unison.

Hotch looked down from the catwalk and could tell that something was wrong by the murderous look on his agent's faces.

"What's going on?" Hotch asked, descending the catwalk to the trio.

"We have to take over janitors since they're on strike with Strauss." JJ said "We have to clean here."

Morgan walked up, pausing at that "What? We have to clean?"

"We're FBI agents not janitors" Emily protested staring at the mess that she saw all around her.

Morgan looked from Hotch to Dave, giving both men an accusing glare "Which one of you volunteered us for this?"

Hotch and Dave looked at him, and Hotch shook his head "What? I didn't volunteer us for this."

Dave looked straight at Morgan who glared at the younger man"Don't even look at me, I wouldn't volunteer for this."

Morgan looked at Emily with a raised eyebrow "And you Princess? I know you're OCD loves cleaning..."

"You even finish that sentence I will beat the crap out of you." Emily said glaring at him.

"Strauss said that a very nice agent of ours volunteered us for clean up duty, early this morning after they heard about the Strike." JJ said "We might as well get to work, I want this over with."

Everyone got to work cleaning up the BAU and each pondering who volunteered them for this job.

_'If Hotch, Dave or Emily volunteered us for this, I am so going to have Baby Girl put them in debt for 10 years'_ Morgan thought looking at the three in question.

_'Who's bright idea was it to volunteer trained Federal Agents for clean up duty?'_ Emily thought watching each agent trying to profile the traitor in her midst.

_'Why do I have to clean up this mess?'_ Reid thought _'None of this is my mess. Huh? Who subscribes to Maxim magazine?'_

_'If I wanted to clean up, I would of stayed home and cleaned my own home'_ JJ shuddered, picking up discarded tissues.

_'God, if I wanted to do this all day I would of stayed married to ex-wife number two'_ Dave grumbled internally _'Where the hell is my Maxim magazine renewal card?'_

Hotch walked around the BAU with trash bags to refill the cans and looked over at Emily who was putting the old newspapers in the recycling can.

_'God she looks sexy in that red top'_ Hotch thought _'Stop thinking about that. Her lips so soft, sensual.'_

Emily looked up to see Hotch staring at her and raised an eyebrow.

_'My gosh. He makes emptying a trash_ can look sexy.' Emily thought and saw a small smile on his lips.

After what felt like hours, the BAU was cleaned and each agent vowed to themselves to find out who had the nerve to volunteer them for spring cleaning.

As each agent left the BAU for the day to head off to get cleaned up and head out for a drink, Hotch remained behind and saw Emily picking up her bags to head out.

Before the elevator closed Hotch got in and gave her a look, and grinned at her.

"Are you going to the bar tonight?" Emily asked Hotch.

Hotch turned to look at her and said "Only if I go with my girlfriend."

Hotch and Emily kissed as the elevator doors closed, unaware that they were spotted by an agent who backed away.

_'I may have been dumb enough to volunteer us for clean up duty, which would get me killed by them, but this is one thing I won't be repeating. I actually value my life.'_ Anderson said grabbing his jacket to head home shaking his head.

* * *

"Housework, if it is done right, can kill you." John Skow

* * *

**Until Next Time... **


	3. Next Stop: Emily Prentiss' Home

**It's Team Work **

Disclaimer: Nope, I don't own Criminal Minds, not at all.

Summary: Emily seems to be the one person everyone turns to in a time of need.

A/N: Another one in this series. Enjoy.

Thanks for reading, don't forget to leave a review.

* * *

Albert Einstein said, "In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity."

* * *

Emily took a deep breath while she rested her forehead against the wood door, and knocked three times.

"Go away!" the angry voice replied on the other end.

"Its me." Emily said, closing her eyes.

This was so not how she wanted to spend her down time. She was supposed to be out with Hotch, going on their third date, not that the angry woman on the other side of the bathroom door knew that.

"Please open up." Emily asked.

"I'm not coming out until HE leaves" the woman called out, "Get him out of here and then I'll come out."

Emily turned to look at the desperate man standing in the hallway and she could actually feel the pain waif off his shoulders.

He took a few steps forward, lightly tapping on the door, "Hey, its me."

"Get out of my friend's house, you gigantic jerk" the woman called out.

"Oh I can so feel the love here" Emily muttered as she slid to the ground watching the man plead his case.

It wasn't that she was unsympathetic to her friends but she did have plans of her own, and as much as she adored the two she didn't want to play mediator when in all honesty everyone should have worked this out together. Preferably by themselves.

"Emily, get him out of this apartment right now." the woman ordered, making the brunette look over at the younger man.

"Sorry." Emily whispered, nodding for him to move.

Even though she felt bad for her female friend's treatment of the man, she understood the woman's anger.

After all if the shoe were on the other foot she'd be inflicting bodily damage. But it wasn't and she won't.

"Will, get the hell out of this apartment before I grab Emily's gun and shoot you in your boys" the blonde hissed out.

"Darling, you're not sanctioned to carry a gun" Will told the woman, who slightly opened the bathroom door.

"I might just be a computer analyst" Garcia said with a raised eyebrow, "But I'm willing to give fire arms a whirl."

At that she slammed the door and the brunette lightly hit her head on the wall next to her door and turned slightly.

"Garcia" Emily said, "You know that this was between JJ and Will, why are you taking this so hard? You're angry at the wrong person."

"Emily Prentiss, how can you of all people sit there and defend him?" Garcia asked, "This is his fault."

"Penelope" Will said, turning to rest his shoulder on the door frame, "You can't be angry at me for this."

The two dark-haired law officers heard the blonde grumble loudly on the other side of the door before she stopped her pacing.

"Don't tell me what I can or can't be angry about" she told him, "Why the hell did you have to do this?"

Emily rubbed her forehead, "PG, please come out and lets talk about this like three rational adults."

"How can we talk about this like rational adults?" she demanded, "We don't have three rational adults."

"I'm not sure we even have one" JJ's voice said causing the two to turn around while Garcia gasped, "Hello."

"No luck?" Hotch asked standing beside JJ scooting over to let Kevin come down the hallway.

"Does it look like they're having any luck?" Garcia's voice said, "Wait, who is that?"

"Hotch." Hotch answered with a smirk when he heard the blonde emit a silent curse.

"Sorry, sir." she replied.

"How about you come out of there?" Hotch asked.

"Nope, not gonna happen" Garcia said, "No disrespect boss man, but I'm kind of in a man-bashing mood and if I come out there I'm going to pummel you and Will into oblivion, sir."

"Me too, cupcake?" Kevin asked, wincing when he heard Garcia shriek in anger, turning to look at the law officers, "Guess she's still mad at me?"

"No freaking kidding" Emily muttered, shoving the younger man away from the door and pulling out a bobby pin, "Guess it's up to me to save the day."

The brunette bit her lower lip as she slid the pin into the key hole clicking it a few times until she heard the proverbial click then opened the bathroom door.

Garcia sat on the edge of the bathtub glaring at the brunette and blonde who walked in.

"Damn you and your Sydney Bristow super spy skills" Garcia said, "Please just make them all leave."

JJ turned to look at the three men, "We've got it from here, why don't you guys get some fresh air outside?"

"Sure" Hotch said, followed the two younger men out of the apartment.

"It's not as bad as it seems, PG" Emily said taking a seat beside the blonde on the bathtub ledge, "You need to know that this wasn't done to hurt you, everyone here loves you."

"Oh yeah" Garcia scoffed, "Then how come I'm the one that feels targeted?"

"Garcia" JJ chided, "You only feel that way because we're all here. But we're all here for you."

"And because this is the bathroom" Emily muttered, watching both blondes shoot her a look, "Anyway, PG you know that all they were trying to do was help."

"Help?" Garcia asked with a raised eyebrow, "Help is loaning someone your car, help is if someone has the flu they drop by with some soup. But this? This was just..."

"Just what?" JJ asked puzzled, "I think it was kind of cute."

Garcia shot the blonde a look, "Aren't you two suppose to be on my side?"

JJ held her hands up in defense, "Whoa, hey I'm always on your side, Garcia."

Emily rolled her eyes at this, she knew there was no use in beating around the bush or sugar-coating anything. Taking a deep breath, she cleared her throat.

"Look, I love you PG" Emily told her friend, "But I can't sit back and watch you do this to yourself."

"Em..." Garcia started only to be cut off.

"Did he go the wrong way about it? Yes" Emily told the blonde, "But did he do it out of genuine love and emotions for you? Yes."

"Popping the question while we're in mid-air in a hot air balloon is not cool" Garcia huffed, folding her arms across her chest and pouting, "That's just down right sneaky."

Both female agents inwardly chuckle at that, then Garcia added, "And having Will be the one to suggested that idea to him..."

"Yeah, sorry about that" JJ told the analyst, "But to be fair, Will was trying to help."

"Ooh ho, he helped all right" Garcia muttered, "Helped himself right on to my enemies list."

Both JJ and Emily exchanged looks at that but remained quite while they heard Garcia murmur vows of reprisal not just from the two men in question but all men in general.

"Look before you go dismantling the male population let me ask you a question" Emily told her, "Ok?"

"I guess" she said, with a shrug of her shoulders as she looked up at the two women, "What?"

"Do you love Kevin?" Emily asked, she knew it was mundane and redundant to go down this road but she needed to get the answers she needed.

"Of course I do" Garcia quickly replied, "But I'm..."

"Hush" Emily said raising her hands, "I'm asking the questions here. Now do you honestly believe that Kevin loves you?"

"Yes." Garcia replied.

"And you really don't want to get married to him?" JJ asked, gaining a look from Emily.

"I'm not sure I'm marriage material" Garcia told the two women, "I told you it's not because I don't love him, but I look around here and half the Bureau is single, divorced or on their way to being divorced. Heck, look at our team."

"We're not all that bad" JJ said, "Look at me and Will..."

"Weren't you two having problems not too long ago?" Garcia asked.

"Well yes" JJ said, "But relationships are about work and compromise. If it were easy would there be dating websites?"

Garcia pondered that then, "Look at Reid, when's the last time he's had a date? Or what about Dave? Huh, he's been divorced three times? Or what about Morgan?"

"What about him?" JJ asked, not liking where her friend's logic was stuck on.

"Now I love my Mocha Man more than anyone on Earth but the man can't keep a girl longer then a weekend" she said, "And how about our fearless leader and Gumdrop? Neither one has any prospective suitors beating down their doors... no offense Em."

"Some taken." she replied with a sigh.

This wasn't how she wanted to do it but she decided to bite the bullet, "Actually PG there's something that I've kept quiet for a while..."

"What?" both blondes asked.

"Hotch and I..." Emily trailed off, running her fingers through her dark hair, "We're kind of, well sorta, you know... seeing each other."

"You're seeing Hotch?" JJ asked, her mouth hanging open, "But I... well I thought..."

"Wow" Garcia said, turning her head to look at the brunette "So how long have you and the boss man been knocking boots?"

"Garcia" JJ admonished, but turned to Emily, "Well answer the woman."

Emily rolled her eyes, "Well I'm not going to answer that, because that's just none of your business..."

"Please" Garcia said dismissively, "You're our friends, that makes it our business."

"However" Emily interrupted, "If you're over your mini-drama, then I can tell you that tonight is our date night."

"Aw is that sweet?" Garcia said with a grin, "I can't remember my last date night with Kevin."

"Then maybe you should stay focused on that, instead of contemplating ways of de-populating the world of men" Emily teased, "Like JJ told you, relationships take work. You love Kevin, you still want to be with him? Then tell him that you're not shutting the door on the idea of marriage but you would maybe be opened to living together."

JJ nodded, "Yeah doesn't he still have his own apartment? Concentrate on that next step instead of worrying about everything else."

"I can try" Garcia told the two, "But I can't make any..."

"Lambchop?" Kevin's voice called out, "Can we talk?"

"Kevin?" Garcia replied, "There's something I need to tell you."

"All right, let me go first" Kevin started, "I am..."

"No sugar britches, I need to get this out-of-the-way." Garcia said, watching the two women walk out of the bathroom.

"Peach, I need to say this." Kevin said, kneeling in front of the blonde.

"Jelly bean, will you let me get a word in edge wise?" Garcia said exhaling.

Emily felt the pounding in her head return at full force as the couple kept going back and forth, as Hotch stood next to her she could feel the annoyance at their friends roll off him.

"There goes that eight o'clock reservation" Hotch murmured, "We can always order in."

"Sweetheart, please." Kevin started.

"Honey Bun, I'm trying to talk." Garcia interrupted.

Emily's head rolled forward, taking a deep breath she turned around, "Oh for God sake will you two just move in together already?"

The two looked shocked, mouths dropped open while Emily stood up straight and sighed.

"It had to be done" she looked over at Hotch, "Still got time for that reservation?"

Hotch gave her a small grin, and nodded, "Yeah. All right everyone, you don't have to go home but you sure as hell can't stay here."

JJ smirked at that, as she and Will gave quieted goodbyes and quickly left the apartment.

But the two stunned analysts finally came out of their stunned silence, and Garcia grinned when she pulled Kevin into a kiss.

"You want to move in with me, Lambchop?" Kevin asked, shoving his glasses up, "Penelope?"

"No" Garcia said, taking a bated breath, while Emily frowned, Hotch groaned but Kevin's face fell into sad confusion, "I want you to move in with me."

Hotch pulled Emily into his arms both were smiling when Kevin dropped a kiss on Garcia's forehead accepting her offer.

To say they were relieved was an understatement, they were thrilled for their friends and for the peace they'll all have in their lives now that things were back on track for everyone.

"Come on" Hotch whispered, "Lets go on that date."

The dark-haired agents watched as the other couple walked out happily in content before embarking on their own path in life.

* * *

"You are, at this moment, standing, right in the middle of your own 'acres of diamond'." Earl Nightingale

* * *

**To Be Continued...**

I hope you all enjoyed this, don't forget to leave a review.


	4. If Curiosity Killed The Cat

**It's Team Work**

Disclaimer: You know I don't own Criminal Minds...

Summary: The team gets nosey wondering what a new couple is like together in their off time...

A/N: I decided to add this one to the series of one-shots on the team. Enjoy.

Thanks for reading, don't forget to leave a review.

* * *

Oscar Wilde said, "The public have an insatiable curiosity to know everything, except what is worth knowing."

* * *

"Shh" Garcia said looking out the front window, turning back around to Morgan and Dave, "Hurry!"

"You see them?" Reid asked setting the hidden microphone in a plant.

"No, now shut up" Garcia hissed, keeping a look out the front window, "You don't want to jinx us, do you?"

"JJ did say she'd call when they'd get here right?" Morgan asked, "Because as much fun as this is Baby Girl, this is Hotch and Emily we're talking about and I don't want to..."

"Get your ass kicked?" Dave said.

"Get shot?" Reid offered.

"Get arrested for breaking and entering?" Garcia added.

"All of the above" Morgan answered, as he set the hidden camera in the picture frame on the entertainment center.

Dave sighed as he moved back, making sure everything was put back in the proper place. He shook his head as he moved a the lamp over a bit.

"Three cameras?" Dave asked looking over at Garcia, "Don't you think that's a little excessive?"

Garcia rolled her eyes, "You better not be chickening out me, Rossi."

Dave raised an eyebrow at the blonde, "Don't get too over-confident Garcia. This is Hotch and Emily here, the two most private people in the Bureau."

"Not to mention the two most anal with having everything in a certain order" Reid added, turning to the three look at him shocked, "What?"

"Did you just curse?" Garcia asked looking over at the other two, "Did he just curse?"

"Yes he did" Morgan said nodding, "I don't know whether to be proud or wash his mouth out with soap."

Garcia looked back out the window, shaking her head as she heard Dave chuckle.

Her mouth dropped open and a small gasp escaped.

"What?" Reid asked looking over at the technical analyst "What is it?"

"Go, go, go" Garcia said dropping the drape and grabbing her purse as she rushed for the back door, "They're back."

Dave cursed in Italian as he grabbed his jacket "Why the hell didn't she call?"

"Who knows? Run" Morgan said grabbing Reid by the scruff of his collar, "Move it, kid."

The door slammed shut, as Hotch and Emily walked into their home.

"You hear something?" Hotch asked Emily, helping carry in the groceries.

"No." Emily said taking the bag over to the dining room table, "Aaron? Did you move the fruit bowl?"

"No." Hotch told her bringing his bag over, "Why?"

"It was on the table, now it's on the kitchen counter." Emily said pulling the groceries out of the bag.

"You probably moved it and forgot." Hotch offered as he started putting up the stuff.

"No" Emily said, "I know that it was on the table."

"You don't think they know, do you?" Reid asked looking from Morgan to Dave, "Who moved the bowl?"

"Crap" Morgan said, "I thought we got everything."

"God this is boring" Garcia said looking up from her computer to her friends, just as JJ walked in.

"Thanks for the heads up, JJ" Morgan said, "What happened to the call?"

JJ sighed, "Not my fault. I was on the phone when we split up, it was about Henry."

"Well you need to learn to multi-task, a text would've done too" Garcia said, "I know you and Dave were against this whole idea but come one..."

"No, Emily" Hotch said, "I haven't been talking to Amy. She's the one sending me the text messages."

"Well how the hell did she get your number?" Emily asked.

"Probably from Stan. You know we worked that case with her brother three weeks ago." Hotch told her, "What's with the third degree? We're barely even friends? I'm allowed to have friends."

"Oh come on, Aaron" Emily said "If I was still friends with the guys I had sex with..."

"Ok we're not going down that road." Hotch told her, "Like I want to hear you talk about all the men you've had sex with."

The team chuckled at hearing that, while Emily narrowed her eyes at Hotch.

"You know when you say it like that, you make me sound like a slut." Emily told him.

Hotch's jaw dropped, "I never said that."

"You didn't have to say it." Emily said her hands going to her hips.

"Well, Emily... I didn't..." Hotch faltered, "I mean..."

Emily chuckled, "God you make it too easy."

Garcia grinned, "That's my Gumdrop."

"Oh you." Hotch said grabbing her by the elbow pulling her into a kiss.

"Maybe we should turn it off" Reid said turning his eyes away from the screen.

"And miss Gumdrop/Bossman action?" Garcia asked shocked, "Are you freaking kidding me? This is why we placed the cameras in there in the first place."

"God I feel like a voyeur" Dave muttered pulling up a chair to sit next to Garcia, "Move the camera in, I think Aaron's going to leave it on football."

The two blondes rolled their eyes, "Focus on why we're doing this." Garcia told him.

"Because you're a nosey pervert?" JJ joked.

"And damn proud of it" Garcia laughed turning her attention back to the screen.

"Jesus, Aaron" Emily said sitting down on the couch, "You know she's just calling you up for a booty call."

"What?" Hotch asked shocked sitting down next to her.

"You my pretty are her booty call" Emily said patting his cheek, while he glared at her, "You do know what a booty call is, don't you?"

"Just because I haven't had as many partners as you doesn't mean I'm a Reid." Hotch told her, making her laugh.

"Well that's just rude." Reid said from his spot in the office.

"Aw, we only tease because we love." Garcia told him.

"But you've never had a booty call?" Emily told him with a raised eyebrow.

"Well no..." Hotch told her, "And I have no intention of getting in touch with Amy. That was a long time ago and you're not caring are you?"

Emily shrugged, "She's your ex and if you don't want to get in touch that's fine with me."

Hotch pulled her close to him, "Now I remember why I love you."

"Aw" Garcia and JJ said while the men rolled their eyes.

"And here I thought it was because of my mouth..." Emily said grinning at him.

Reid spit out the water he'd been drinking on Morgan.

"Watch it, Reid." Morgan told him glaring at the younger man.

"Well that's the other reason" Hotch said lying down on the couch, pulling Emily on top of him.

"Ok that's it" Morgan said, "It's one thing to eavesdrop on their conversations..."

"Which is highly illegal." Reid added in softly.

"But it's a completely other thing to watch them get it on." Morgan said reaching for the off button on the screen.

"Touch that and I swear by my PC that I will break your fingers off and shove them down your throat." Garcia threatened.

The other four stared at her in shocked, "Wow Garcia, who knew you had it in you?" JJ whispered.

Dave's cell phone rang, "I'll be back."

"Aw, Aaron" Emily said, "I feel so bad for you."

Hotch tilted his head to the side, "Why?"

Emily laid her head on Hotch's chest while she looked up at him, "Well think about, Aaron. You are a gorgeous, smart and amazing man."

"And?" Hotch asked not getting what she was getting at.

"You've never got to experience the best thing out of multiple dating and all the things that go with that" Emily told him, "You know the wild one night stand, the drunk hook up, the kinky wild sex..."

"The hell you say" Hotch protested, "We've had great wild sex, Emily. Remember the trip to the batting cages?"

"I so did not need to hear about that." JJ muttered turning from the computer screen.

"Aaron" Emily told him, "I'm not talking about us. I'm talking about the experiences. And I'm going to give you that."

Everyone watched as Emily got up from Hotch and walked into the bedroom.

"What are you going to do?" Hotch asked sitting up and looking off in the direction of the room.

Dave hung up his cell phone and sighed as he wandered back into the office, "What did I miss?"

"You don't want to know" Reid murmured, "Believe me."

"What was that about?" JJ asked nodding to his phone, "The call?"

"Oh, Strauss of course." Dave said rolling his eyes, he sighed again, "Cut the feed. Hotch will have to come in."

"Aw man" Garcia said going for the camera, while Dave picked up his phone and looked at the screen.

Hotch looked over at the door waiting for Emily to come back in, when the phone rang. He grinned, he knew who it was.

"Are you going to give it to me now and hard?" Hotch said laughing into the phone.

"Aaron?" Dave said with a raised eyebrow, he looked up to see Garcia's face glued to the screen when she heard Hotch's words.

Dave snapped his fingers trying to get the blonde analyst attention but she seemed to invested in the screen when he looked up to see what had her attention.

"Dave?" Hotch said shocked as he looked down at the caller ID and groaned, "What?"

"Look I hardly know I'm not the one you want to have phone sex with but I need you." Dave said.

"What?" Hotch asked grimacing while Morgan, JJ, Reid and Garcia looked at him shocked, "Strauss wants you and Emily to come in."

"Damn it." Hotch said looking up when he heard a throat clear "Jesus Christ."

"OMG" Garcia said, "Emily looks amazing."

"Hot damn, Princess" Morgan said, drooling, "Look at the body on Emily."

"This is just wrong" JJ said, going for the off switch, "I love you Garcia but I can't do this. We're not going to watch our friends have sex."

"No freaking duh, Jayje" Garcia said looking at her, "What kind of person do you think I am?"

Everyone raised an eyebrow at that to which she added, "Don't answer that."

"Dave whatever it is, I'll have to call you back." Hotch said about to close his phone.

"Go have your fun, Aaron" Dave said chuckling, "She looks amazing in red, by the way."

Hotch shut his phone off, and frowned at that, while Emily placed her hands on her hips in the sensual lingerie she was wearing.

"What?" Emily asked looking down at herself, "You don't like it?"

Hotch got up, walking over to her, "No it's not that. Listen..."

JJ looked from Dave to Morgan, "You have to do something. This has gone on far enough."

Dave nodded to Morgan both men approach the blonde analyst slowly while Reid moved to the right side of the two men.

"Baby Girl?" Morgan said seeing her eyes never leave the screen.

"Yeah?" Garcia said looking up as the three men "What the hell?"

Both men grab ahold of her shoulder while Reid and JJ grab on to the make shift belt strapping Garcia into her computer chair.

"You all are going to pay for this, I swear it" Garcia threatened, "You think you know anything about computers, wrong. Out of everyone in this group, I am the Great and Powerful Oz."

"Actually I'm no slouch myself" Kevin said rushing to the computer and clicking on the keys when everyone in the office jumped with the new faces on the screen.

"GARCIA!" Hotch said sternly, "We're going to have a long talk when I come in Monday morning."

"Crap." Garcia said looking down at her restrained self to the two pissed off agents on her computer screen staring in the cameras.

"I know her and there's definitely more than one camera." Emily said as the covered up brunette looked around their living room.

"Hey nerd boy, fix this so we don't see anything else" Morgan told Kevin, "Because I don't intend to be on Hotch and Emily's revenge list."

Kevin looked over at Garcia, "You couldn't just leave it alone could you?"

Garcia raised her eyebrows, "Well you know me..."

Dave picked up his ringing cell phone, "And there's Hotch..."

"Yeah?" Dave said answering the phone, "Uh huh, yeah? I got it. Let me check" the older man looked over at Kevin, "Are they off?"

"Yeah," Kevin said.

"Yeah" Dave said, "Just the three. All right, yeah. What? Aaron? Aaron?"

"What was the last part?" Morgan asked watching Kevin untie Garcia.

"He knows we were involved, he said, and I quote, 'I'm not protecting you all from Emily's wrath'." Dave said, with a head shake.

Reid looked over at Garcia, "I told you this was a bad idea."

"Quit sounding like a broken record" Garcia said rubbing her sore arms, "There's nothing to be afraid of, it's just Em."

"A very pissed off Emily is a dangerous Emily" Dave said, "I just hope whatever she's got planned doesn't cause permanent damage."

"Not likely" JJ snorted, "We never had to worry before because we were never on her radar. Remind me again whose fault this is?"

Garcia rolled her eyes, "Hey, I already apologized and once a person said they're sorry they're automatically forgiven for it."

"Not to Emily you aren't" Reid said walking out the door "Next time keep me out of it."

"Same goes for me" Dave said walking out, while JJ nodded walking out.

Garcia looked over at Kevin and Morgan, "Say boys how would you like to..."

"No." Morgan and Kevin answered in unison.

Garcia scoffed as she sat down in her chair staring at her blank screen.

* * *

Nancy Willard said, "Sometimes questions are more important than answers."

* * *

**Until Next Time... **

Well this was different, I hope you all enjoyed it. Leave a review.


	5. Stuck In The Car

**It's Team Work**

Disclaimer: CBS is the sole owner of all things CM's. All I own is the series on dvd.

Summary: The team is in their Bureau issued SUV heading back from lunch to the BAU cramped together when someone lets loose a smell...

A/N: So this prompt originally was one of my first prompt, I decided to fix the few errors that I found in it and post it with this series. It was a really short one but funny. Enjoy.

Thanks for reading, don't forget to leave a review.

* * *

Kurt Vonnegut said, "I tell you, we are here on Earth to fart around, and don't let anybody tell you different."

* * *

Hotch drove the Bureau issued SUV in silence, rolling his eyes at the bickering going on in the back seat.

"You know" Dave said from the backseat "As the oldest member on this team, I should have uncontested dibs on the front seat."

"Because you're the oldest?" Emily snickered "Dream on Grandpa, we called shot gun, so deal with it."

"Yeah" Morgan said sarcastically "That's why you got the passenger seat, not because you're the boss' girlfriend?"

Both Emily and Hotch glared at the athletic agent all the way in the back seat.

"Hey" Morgan said unapologetic "I'm practically in the trunk over here. Why couldn't the kid sit back here?"

"Because he's Emily's favorite." JJ mentioned elbowing Dave as she tried to get comfy between Garcia and the older man.

"You'd think with all the traveling you do" Garcia commented "They'd at least try to improve on the car situation."

"Cut backs." JJ grumbled, squirming as she tried to find a little more comfort.

"Keep squirming and you'll be riding on my lap." Dave told the blonde.

"Oh!" Garcia teased "Sounds like Dave here deserves sometime in the Sexual Harassment class."

"He'd have too much fun there." Emily said wrapping her arm around Reid when he almost fell off the seat.

"The next person who complains, is walking." Hotch said eyeing the agents in the rear view mirror.

"That doesn't go for us." Emily whispered in Reid's ear watching him smirk.

Silence fell on the team, allowing Hotch to be grateful for the peace of quiet.

JJ sniffed and looked over at Garcia as both blondes caught a whiff of a bad odor.

The smell traveled to the front of the car.

"What the hell is that smell?" Hotch asked.

"Did we hit a skunk?" Emily asked turning slightly to look at the team in the back.

"Ugh" JJ said gasping while Garcia and Dave rolled their windows down "That was definitely no skunk."

"That smells like someone passed gas." Reid said leaning over Emily to roll down the window.

"Who did it?" Hotch asked looking over at the team then Reid and Emily.

"Don't even look in my direction" Emily said glaring "That stench is coming from the back."

"Not me." quipped the two blondes looking over at Dave.

"I had a sub sandwich" Dave said pointed his thumb to the backseat "The smell is coming from the back."

"Morgan!" Garcia shouted "Ew."

"What?" Morgan said shrugging "It slipped out."

"We told you not to get the Carne Asada burrito." Emily said turning around to catch some air.

"What do we do?" Garcia asked.

"Throw him out" Dave said "And make him walk back."

"What?" Morgan asked outraged.

"What?" Dave shrugged nonchalantly "It's only another block."

Hotch hit the gas pedal, quickly speeding the SUV towards the BAU faster than the speed of light.

Once inside the parking garage, everyone rushed out of the SUV, while Morgan strolled out casually.

"Maybe next time you people will should let me sit up front." Morgan muttered seeing the team enter the elevator.

* * *

Paul Gauguin said, "Life being what it is, one dreams of revenge."

* * *

**THE END **

See that comment box down there? Yeah that one. Drop me a line and let me know what you think.

A/N 2: I hope I didn't tick off the Derek Morgan fans.


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